please come you make the beer taste better
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
