piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
