i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
