i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
