Yo dont text me then not text me
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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