I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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