Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
