quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
