New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
