I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
