More tranny stories later!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
