Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
