so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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