I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
