Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
