sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize