i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
