Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
