the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dicks are not precious.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
