fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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