Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
