I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
