Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
