oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
