Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize