i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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