Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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