How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We talked him into tasing himself.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
