I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Less talking, more tequila
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize