I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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