Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
