aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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