So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
