To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
babies were throwing up all over the place
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
