There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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