Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My bed smells like the plague
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
