that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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