and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
