Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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