What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
