it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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