HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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