it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
