dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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