Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
