He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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