I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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