how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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