You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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