god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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