By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
