i wish there were pregnant emoticons
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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