He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
