Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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