what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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