Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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