No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
