Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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