she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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