Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
