Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she peed on how many people?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i've created a new STD.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
