Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
