so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize