LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
