Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
